Why did I do what I did?
I really have no clue- yet.
But now that I am alone, sitting here with my laptop; I can finally go inside my mind and seek the answer(s). Even though I am constantly examining and improving upon my corrected morals and principles, I know that there is still a huge piece of myself that is floating in limbo. Understand that whosoever desires to be the “real deal”, must travel into limbo to pull themselves out. Limbo can be a frightening venture that some of us may well indeed not return from with our sanity intact. Life is never without a gamble. If we seek to gain; there is always something at stake.
I am reminded of the movie starring Robin Williams titled, “What dreams may come.” His journey to retrieve his family from “limbo” was pure insanity and carried the price tag of losing his own mind. Nevertheless, he accepted this wager because his character understood that without his family, he would never be whole. If we do not seek out and find that missing part of ourselves that carries within it a clue to unlocking the reality of why we did what we did, we may never be able to prevent ourselves from doing the same thing again and possibly destroying our potential for some type of peace in this stress-filled cesspool of death and destruction.
If any human refuse the journey into limbo- you will continue to suffer; I will continue to suffer, and those we have wronged will forever haunt us. It's all up to you to face what you have done. It is your responsibility; Take It!
Life is Crude.